29 January 2011

So Professional

I'm bringing classy back.

With that said, Bryn is retreating to Winter Park with the Tri team right now while I watch my sister pace the carpet mumbling a poem, putting up with my occasional outbursts of things like "A pair of star-crossed lovers!!"

Or, "I need help with Econ!"

In other words, despite my much-needed refuge taking, I am experiencing separation anxiety even with three phone calls today from my future roommate. I am exaggerating.

If, however, Bryn and I were in the cramped kitchen tonight squealing about the latest and talking about how I need to go to more practices, we would have made some stir fry. The thrill of the produce selection on campus wanes quickly, and after a week of eating rearrangements of corn syrup in the form of bread, snackimals, or a cookie, it was high time for some fresh (more or less) carotene, which, by the way, is supposed to make you look tan and beautiful.

Absentee Stir Fry:
1. Weave your way through a Safeway that is reminiscent of the airport - people from literally all walks of life pack into the aisles, and there's always someone not quite with it making commotion, or in today's case, there were four cop cars and about six cops surrounding a homeless looking dude that certainly wouldn't warrant the amount of blue lights and uniforms.

2. Get some color:
Red Onion
Green Onions
Yellow Pepper
Orange Pepper (I don't like green peppers any more after I read an interview with Euclid Hall's dreamboat head chef Jorel Pierce)
Mushrooms, just for funsies because they look like meat
Rice Noodles (The ones that say 'Thai' somewhere on the box)

3. You know the stir fry drill. Cut up the onions super tiny (one might say mince) and throw them in with your mom's super fancy olive oil.

4. Cut up everything else into smallish pieces and add in the order listed above. Forget that you bought green beans - add those right at the end so they just barely heat up. Crunch.

5. While Emily stirs all that around, grab spices out of the drawer, inhale them, and ask to put them in. You'll probably get away with cumin (smells like young adult males, but it works) paprika and some other one that starts with c.

5. You'll want to add some canola oil so as not to use $5 worth of that olive stuff

6. Boil your noodles. Drain. Soy sauce? Yes.

7. Mix all that together. Snarf down the extra noodles - the onesided colorwheel of nutrients is the most important part.

8. It wouldn't be a mom-less meal without Pillsbury crescent rolls baked fresh for 11 minutes out of that awesome exploding cardboard can thing. Pull them out of the oven at the end of dinner and eat warm with jam.

9. Are those PANCAKES from SNOOZE in the fridge? Yeah I'm still hungry. I'm anything for pumpkinseedpears, red velvet, or peanutbutterbananas in flapjack form.

I'm supposed to bring some delicious for dinner tomorrow. I am accepting ideas.

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